Welcome or welcome back to Discussions with Dede!! Wow, never thought that I would write those words again. I don’t think the phrase “uninspired” even captures what I have been feeling since March 6th, 2022, the last time I updated my blog. But hey, I’ll get into more of that soon. I missed you guys though, hope you’re doing well or well enough I guess lol.
So let’s catch up lovelies!
First of all, big congratulations to me for surviving 4 (more like 2.5) years of college. I graduated from the University of Washington- Bothell with a Bachelor of Arts, double majoring in Media Communication Studies and Psychology. Love my degree honestly but finding a good job has been close to impossible, we’ll get into that a little bit laterrr. Graduation was calm, forgot that I’m not one of those babes that can wear heels period so why I wore them for graduation I really do not know. Looking back at it, graduation felt pretty anticlimactic. I mean you wait in line for forever, talking to some people that you have never talked to and will probably never talk to again. Then, you walk (hobble, in my case) down to your seat and then you get maybe 5 seconds of spotlight onstage and then it’s over. After the ceremony, it’s picture time but you spend half of the time calling your friends and family trying to figure out where they are. All that to say, I was so happy to make it to graduation but the day of was less exciting than I expected.
( I miss my friendsss)
( my lovely sisters helping me walk, who sent me to wear heels???
3 days after graduation, I had to move back home and I was a lot sadder than I thought I was going to be. For the past 7 years that I’ve lived in Seattle, I have hated it. All of it. However, Seattle started to become more enjoyable as soon as I had to leave. I started to make new friends and discover new locations that I never knew existed in Seattle. For example, my friend invited me to a fashion show, and the designer designed all the items worn with thrifted clothes. I was astounded by her talent and her passion for recycling clothing and she definitely made me rethink my “fast fashion” choices. My sister and I also started to explore more of Seattle and we found Black parties, I really did not know that many Black people lived in Seattle. It felt like Seattle was just growing on me so leaving all my new and old friends behind left me feeling very empty. Everyone says “Let’s keep in touch” or “Call me every day” but life happens and adulting does not leave you any time to have virtual coffee dates with your long-distance friends. Long-distance friendships are so hard to maintain because out of sight unfortunately is out of mind and it’s difficult to maintain friendship when you’re not in close proximity to each other. That’s really why I respect people who make it a habit to call their long-distance friends and even go visit them because it really does take commitment to keep that friendship going.
This summer I have to say that I really pushed myself out of my comfort zone “for the plot”. I FINALLY got to see one of the best Afrobeats artists perform and that is King Davido! 1,000/10 concert and I have been to alot of concerts so I know an incredible performance when I see one. The energy was electric and being surrounded by so many different Africans, especially West Africans, was something I needed after living in Seattle for 7 years.
(us at the Davido concert!)
Broccoli City Festival was in July and I went with my cousins and sisters which was an experience to say the least. I hate big crowds and tight spaces and Broccoli City was a combination of both of my biggest fears lol but yolo ya know? Some performers were great and commanded the stage (Asake, Glorilla, Lola Brooke, Brent Faiyaz,) others had no energy and gave up halfway through the performance (Rema). As we grow older and continue through life, relationships change and you realize the people you actually mess with. Especially within family, when you’re younger your parents have to cultivate that relationship for you but as you grow older it is your choice if you want to maintain the relationship or not. I am grateful that my cousins and I are slowly getting our money up so we can continue to experience things and create memories without our parents.
( me and my bestie, you might know her as Scottie Beam, I know her as Deanii)
( me, Scottie, and Sylvia Obell. They said to never meet your idols, but I am so glad that was not my case. They were so sweet and it meant so much to me)
On August 12th, my parents renewed their vows and celebrated 25+ years of marriage. They have been wanting to renew their vows but COVID… so I’m glad that they finally got the chance to do it. Now, I have some event planning experience from being an event planner in college but wedding planning was a whole different ball game. They told us about it in January and automatically my brain went from excitement to anxiousness because we had 6 months to plan a whole wedding! I know it seems like a long time but as we were planning the vow renewal, it seemed that we had so many issues to sort through, especially in regards to our attire. So the plan was that we would have a tailor in Nigeria make our traditional attire and we would ship it to the UK and my grandma would pack it in her bag and bring it with her when she comes. It was going so well until my grandmother’s bag got confiscated by security because there was food in it (BS)and it was reported “missing”. At this point, I am fearful because they said they would deliver it to us the next day but it was never delivered. I am freaking out now and we are now scrambling, begging our tailor to make us back-ups. Guess what happens next? Just guess. No guesses? Ok, I’ll tell you. She sprained her leg and could no longer make our dresses. All I can do is laugh at this point because huhhhh???? When I tell you we started to pray fervently because all these “coincidences” were not making sense. We literally did not get our clothes until 2 days before the ceremony, I kid you not. It was a crazy time but I am just very grateful my parents were able to renew their vows and do it the traditional way that they never got the chance to.
(my mom and dad in traditional bini attire) ( my sisters and I in our asoebi)
Summer 2023 was definitely for the books and it pushed me to do things that I never thought I would do but I did. I was able to push past my fears and it felt sooo good to overcome what had been holding me back for forever.
Now, we get into the hard part of this post: post-grad depression. I’m not going to get into too much of this because I want to delve into this topic more in another post. I feel like I was warned about this post-grad depression but I didn’t realize how bad it was actually going to be. Moving back in with my parents coupled with being unemployed and leaving all my college friends had me feeling depressed for months. I would spend hours rotting away on my couch, watching childhood favorites just to feel something. My mom and my sister would go to work and find me in the same position on the couch when they came back. What did I have to look forward to? I was just repeating the same day EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I was broke and miserable and your mind can go to some scary places when you hit that point. No jobs were getting back to me and it was rejection after rejection but most jobs did not even have the decency to do that so I was mostly ghosted. After many weeks of applying, I got a decent job which is where I’m at right now.
Honestly, I have no advice or words of encouragement to those reading, because I can’t even encourage myself right now. I think all I would advise is to deal with any decent job that gets you money so you can fund the lifestyle you want. I think when I graduated, I had this dream that I would get the “perfect” job that was in my career field and that was definitely not the case. The job market is horrible and I feel so bad for my fellow 2023 grads because we were thrown into the wilderness. Obviously, I am aspiring to get the “perfect” job but I know it might take me some time to get there. I’m not going to give up on my dream of being a journalist but I gotta be realistic so I’m taking what I can get right now.
Anyways, thank you so much for reading this long update but I’ve missed writing so I hope I can be more consistent with these posts.
Question: “How have you challenged yourself this year or how do you want to challenge yourself in the new year?”